Thread: research on ivf with donor eggs

Hello everyone! As you might know I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I had many doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. On different forums I read many comments from women who are at the same situation. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

Originally Posted by Attilio

Hi Jessica

Thanks for sharing your story. It's touching.

Which country will you be looking to do the donor cycle?

Do you have a link for the research you mentioned?

Hello Attilio! Thank you for your response. I'm currently looking for information on different countries and their clinic. I want to compare success rates, prices and services. So then it will be easier to choose. I'm not sure yet but we are looking more into Europe. Clinics there have lower prices. The thing is that reviews are so controversial... I think we need more time to pick the right one.

Here is the link Infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children | Daily Mail Online. Actually it's just one of dozens I found. This was more informative I guess.

Hi Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent our manager list of features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

Originally Posted by ViktoriA

Hi Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent our manager list of features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

Hello dear! You're welcome! I'm happy this info is as helpful as it was for me when I've just found it. My congratulations with your pregnancy! This is so nice to talk to someone who understands what I feel! You're reading my mind. My dh has no doubts at all! Oh dear I'm reading your words and it seems like it was me who wrote them! I feel totally the same now. You're right, this research made me to look at this procedure with new eyes. Thank you so much for your reply! Your words are so inspiring. Now I feel even more confident in this decision and I hope we'll start our journey asap! I really hope to see more updates from you about your condition and your baby! And of course I’d like to know more about the exact process, search of a clinic and the clinic itself. I really hope for your help! And again thank you for support.

Originally Posted by Jessica

Hello dear! You're welcome! I'm happy this info is as helpful as it was for me when I've just found it. My congratulations with your pregnancy! This is so nice to talk to someone who understands what I feel! You're reading my mind. My dh has no doubts at all! Oh dear I'm reading your words and it seems like it was me who wrote them! I feel totally the same now. You're right, this research made me to look at this procedure with new eyes. Thank you so much for your reply! Your words are so inspiring. Now I feel even more confident in this decision and I hope we'll start our journey asap! I really hope to see more updates from you about your condition and your baby! And of course I’d like to know more about the exact process, search of a clinic and the clinic itself. I really hope for your help! And again thank you for support.

Thank you Jess! I believe this information will definitely help many women here to mentally accept the idea of using eggs of a donor. I think that such communities really help to go through infertility struggles. No one can understand us batter then women who faced problems in trying to conceive. I'm glad that my experience can help someone in their journey. I will keep posting! And if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I'm always ready to talk and help. I will share more information and answer your questions in your thread. I wish you best of luck with your search and of course good luck with your upcoming procedure!

Originally Posted by Jessica

Hello everyone! As you might know I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I had many doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. On different forums I read many comments from women who are at the same situation. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

Hello Jessica! I'm so sorry you faced such diagnosis in such a young age. You are right! The only thing, which stops women from using donor eggs, is understanding that their baby will be not related to them. I should say thinking about this was driving me crazy. When I read about women experience and how they are happy after using donor egg I feel more confident in this procedure. They say they don't feel their baby is from a donor or something like that. And this is the most important to feel that baby is yours and only yours.

Thank you so much for sharing this research with us! I've never heard about it. I think this research changes everything! It will help women like us to forget about all doubts for sure! Do you have a link for the research you’ve mentioned? I would like to read more about it. I'm really grateful for your reply because you made me to look at the whole procedure even more positively!

How is your search going? Do you know in which country you will have de ivf? I'm still in search though I decided to concentrate on European clinics. I should say I am nervous a bit. I will turn 45 a very soon. As you might know all countries have their own age limits for the procedure. For me it's much harder to find suitable clinic. Still there are some options so I will dig more to find the best one. I wish you best of luck! It would be really nice if you continue to share updates of your search.

Originally Posted by ViktoriA

Hi Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent our manager list of features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

Hi Viktoria! My congratulations to you and your dh! I'm so glad I joined this forum! I really wanted to talk to someone who used donor eggs. I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who was uncertain about the procedure. Now my husband is fully on board. He thinks that it is perfect option for us. This's so true that it's much easier for men to accept the idea of having a baby from a donor. I'm reading your post and I recognize my thoughts! Even now when I feel more confident in the procedure I still build up scenarios in my head. I'm really happy for you! I'm so relieved to know that your thoughts and feelings changed now when you’re pregnant. May I ask you some questions about your journey? How did you find your clinic? What should we pay attention to? How much tries of ivf did you have? It would be nice if you share some information and advices!

Originally Posted by sunnysky

Hi Viktoria! My congratulations to you and your dh! I'm so glad I joined this forum! I really wanted to talk to someone who used donor eggs. I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who was uncertain about the procedure. Now my husband is fully on board. He thinks that it is perfect option for us. This's so true that it's much easier for men to accept the idea of having a baby from a donor. I'm reading your post and I recognize my thoughts! Even now when I feel more confident in the procedure I still build up scenarios in my head. I'm really happy for you! I'm so relieved to know that your thoughts and feelings changed now when you’re pregnant. May I ask you some questions about your journey? How did you find your clinic? What should we pay attention to? How much tries of ivf did you have? It would be nice if you share some information and advices!

Thank you for your kind words! I'm happy my experience can help. I know exactly what you are talking about! When I was at the beginning of my journey and I was looking for information, successful stories really helped me to find answers. Not only they were useful for my own journey but also they helped me mentally. When I was reading them I was feeling like there are women who understand me and I'm not alone. Of course I could talk with my husband but he will never understand what exactly is on my mind and in my heart. I think men look at this procedure in a completely different way. In no way they can feel what we feel and how we think about using eggs of a donor. That's why such communities are the perfect places to talk about your feelings and emotions. Only here we can be ourselves and tell everything what is on our mind. Yes now I feel differently toward my baby but I still remember how I felt before. It is very important to find someone who can relate to your situation and help you to find the best way out.

My journey started in European clinic. I'm really glad we chose to go abroad. Not only we saved some money for our child, but also the clinic made everything for us to enjoy the process. There are many clinics of reproductive medicine there, but our is working with foreign patients. Be careful and pay attention to every single detail during your search. There are many fake agencies and scammers out there who make money on such people as we are. Pay attention to reviews of a clinic you have a preference for. There’s nothing like finding out what others say about a clinic. I can advise you to find how clinics choose donors for their programs. Which diseases are they screened for? These are all very important questions because you want to be sure that your donor is free from any infectious or genetic diseases. Don't forget to find out if there are any hidden costs. Sometimes the headline price for treatment seems good value. But once you read further you find that certain tests are excluded or essential procedures are extra. For example, some clinics may not include embryo freezing in their price for treatment. A good idea is to have a set of criteria which you can use to compare one clinic with another. I had 2 tries in general. I've got pregnant from the first one. Our clinic has high success rates. It was a major factor which convinced us to choose it. If you have any questions or just want to talk you know where to find me!